Wednesday, July 30, 2014

A Few Ways to Entice Your Man and Still Be Submissive

There is a rumor floating around that men have a higher sex drive than women.  I beg to differ, I know a lot of women who have a higher sex drive than their partner.  If you are one of these women, I feel your pain.

It is really difficult to cope with.  If you are one of the women who have to fend your husband off, well, you're lucky and this post doesn't apply to you.

If your partner's libido is lower than yours it isn't just the lack of sex that gets to you. Usually caresses, hugs and kisses dwindle down too.  If your advances are rebuffed, it hurts.  When you hear women complaining about how their man wants sex too much you wonder what in the hell is wrong, is it you, is it him?

It makes you question your desirability.  It makes you wonder if your partner is having an affair.  It makes you doubt your own worth.  So let's break it down...

Do you still have at least some sex?  Is it good when you do have it?  If yes, then your partner DOES desire you so we're off to a good start.  (If no, you will have to look for the root cause, is it a physical problem, an addiction to porn, etc.  In that case, this post may not help, or you may have already tries these tips.)

1) Let Go of Your Doubts, Your Insecurities.  I got the best advice from an old boyfriend.  He was a Marine (Semper Fi, baby) and when he came home on leave I had gained some weight (God, I'd love to see that number on my scales now, but at the time I was self conscious about it.)  I was protesting the removal of my shirt due to my weight and what I thought was an unattractive belly when he took my hand and pressed it against his erection.  He said, "when a man is trying to make love to you and he's as hard as this?  He finds you attractive."  So even if the frequency is not as often as you'd like, if your man is aroused by you - he is attracted to you.  Let that sink in for a moment. He is attracted to you.  (If you doubt me you can check out this link on Reddit.)

2) Do the Little Things First.  If he needs a clean house for peace of mind, if he thinks you are sexy when you wear dresses, if he needs quiet time to unwind before jumping into the chaos that is your life, give him that first.  Have him sit down and put his feet up before dinner.  Yes, I know you've been working all day too, but this is about helping him want sex - it helps him get his head in the game.  Listen when he talks, but don't demand a conversation.  If he's had a hard day at work, he may not want to re-hash it now that he is finally home.  Offer to give him a massage before bed, don't be discouraged if he falls asleep during it - you are helping him relax and if he is stressed he won't be thinking of sex.  Yes, these little things may not lead directly to the bedroom, but I promise this will lead to more sex in the long run.  

3) Seduce Him.  He doesn't always have to be the one to initiate.  If he protests, usually you can silence that by slowly unzipping his pants, especially if you drop to your knees when you do so.  Sometimes, it is nice for him to relinquish control, to be ravished, to be so hot that his woman can't stop herself from tearing his clothes off.  Pick your timing on this one, you don't want to try this when he is leaving for an important meeting at work (his mind is already in that conference room) but it should work out well.  Push him back onto the bed and tell him to just lie there and take it.  Take your time, re-learn his body with your hands, your mouth, your hair.  Make sure you verbalize that his body is turning you on, a breathy moan, or a "God, you're so hot" will work - just make sure he knows that you are enjoying what you are doing.  Husband can usually only take so much before taking control, so if your man is dominant he probably won't lay still for you the entire time, but long enough to get the fire started.

4) Figure Out His Buttons.  Remember the last time you made him moan or call your name (or whatever way he signals to you that you are blowing his mind- husband has a tendency to say "Holy Fuck") or clenched the sheets with his fists?  You know how we replay something that he did that really tripped our trigger?  Well I guarantee he has something that you did on replay too - your job is to figure out what his triggers are and do them again, often.  We submissive wives love the dominance but what does he love, what makes him crazy, what makes him think about you doing it for days afterwards?

5) Blow-jobs.  Yes there is a rare man or two out there who doesn't like them, but the majority love them.  Do it without any interest (or expressed interest anyway) of reciprocation.  Do it just for him.  And while we are on the subject, how are your skills? Personally, I thought I was a sport just because I was willing to do it until we started TTWD. Then in my research I came across (and watched) some porn and realized I was pretty lame in comparison. I'm not saying you should go all porn star (I personally find it gross when they spit on the cock, ewww why is that sexy?) but new moves are never discouraged, especially if you've been using the same stale moves.  If you'd like some further information check out this link on Reddit (make sure to read the comments from the guys as they give some awesome advice to add to the column.) 

6) Always Be Ready.  This is a hard one for me, because as I groom for him, I imagine being with him, which makes me ready for sex like all the time.  However, if your man is like mine and you don't know when he'll be in the mood, you will never miss the opportunity if you are always ready.  Husband goes to bed before me because he gets up earlier for his job. I get into bed every night in a sexy chemise, freshly showered, shaved, perfumed, teeth brushed. Do I get lucky every night? No, but I am always ready if he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants me, I am there.  If his alarm goes off and he wants to use that morning hard on - I am ready.  Sometimes it is hard to lay there, all ready for sex while he is sleeping away, but it is worth it for the times I slip into bed and he grabs me around the waist and pulls me against him, so I can feel his erection pushing against my ass, because he's been waiting for me. 

See, isn't that sexier than complaining that he doesn't have sex with you enough?  Better than bratting for a spanking, better than bitching to your girlfriends, better than eating a tub of ice cream while you bemoan your lack of sex?  Better than crying, beating yourself up or becoming depressed?  Hopefully this will work for you, and if not I am sorry, I truly am, because I know how hard it can be when your libido is on high speed and his is running slower.  Just remember #1 and keep trying.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I would love to hear from you!