Saturday, July 19, 2014

The Weight of Reality

Have you heard that stress causes you to gain weight?  It's true.  And all of my stress comes from reality and I want a break from it.  Husband does not think you can break from reality, but I do - I know I can!

So, Husband and I were talking this morning about my longing for this trip that I am trying to make happen.  He doesn't see the need to go as far a way as I want to, and would prefer not to drive a long distance.  We can't afford to fly, we can't take enough days off to make the trip leisurely, etc. So maybe we can just send the kids away for a night or two and stay home.  Or get a hotel room nearby.

I feel so selfish, but that isn't what I want at all.  I want, no I NEED a break from reality! Maybe a night or two without the kids would have worked had we taken some time for us in the past year and a half.  But at this point we haven't done anything for us.  In fact, for the past 15 years we haven't taken a trip without the kids.  Going local would be an option if I wasn't trying to go somewhere where we could replicate the "old us", before the stress, the responsibilities and the worries managed to take over.

He's not objecting to some time, but again, the reality keeps him from "running away" with me.

There are time constraints, financial constraints, blah, blah, blah. And by saying blah, blah, blah I am in no way diminishing the reality of the constraints, or his concerns for them.  

But I feel like time is running by at an ever faster pace and if we don't take the time now, when will we?  And the answer is probably never, or at least not until we are retired, because all of these constraints will still be here next year, and for the next ten years.  I really do not feel like I can wait even a day, much less a year, or two, or ten.

And every time I hear this song I bawl my eyes out.  I want this so badly and I just can't seem to accept that it will not happen, at least not the way I want it to. 

Thank you for letting me vent to you - now I need to blow my nose, wipe my face and fold some laundry....REALITY BITES!


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