Friday, January 18, 2013
Back to my warm spot...
We got some good news in the mail and I called him at work to let him know. We spoke briefly (he was very busy so I didn't have a chance to tell him everything I was feeling). He came home last night and after checking on the fireplace to make sure I had cleaned it, we sat in the dining room and talked. I have a hard time expressing myself to him and after a few awkward attempts to try and explain how much his withdrawal effected me, I finally just asked him to read my blog. He hasn't looked at it since my first posts and immediately went to the most recent one. Now nervous, I waited while he skimmed it, watching him smile at something and then he read a few more posts. When he finished I asked him, "Well...?" He said, "Is dinner ready?"
Well, of course that made me kind of mad - after all I was opening up to him and all he had to say was, "Is dinner ready?" I was ready to splutter on about it, but he said, "It's 6:30, I'm hungry and ready for dinner." Hmm, something about the way he said it was so... authoritative. It kind of stopped me and made me realize that he was probably starving at this point. He walked down the hall, stopped and asked, "Who was wearing these?" I looked and saw his slippers our daughter had gotten him for Christmas lying there. I had slipped them on when I got out of bed (the floors were cold and I couldn't find mine) only to take them off and leave them there when I put on my sneakers. "Actually, I was," I told him. "Is this where they belong?" he asked me sternly. "No," I said and went to pick them up and put them away. He stopped me and hugged me and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me tight against him for a moment and then said, "Okay, back to work." But, it felt so good to be close to him after the turmoil I had been in all day so I kept my arms around him and didn't let go. "Smack" he slapped my ass HARD! "Ouch, no honey - I just want to be held by you for a minute," I explained. "Smack, Smack, Smack,Smack, Smack, Smack," he slapped my ass HARD (really hard and I had pants on!) six times in quick succession. "I said back to work," he said again. Hmm... and we're back!
We had a delicious dinner with wonderful conversation! I cleared the table and he took the dogs out. As the night wound down I went to take my bath and he got the children in bed. As I prepared for bed, I was a bit worried but more excited because I knew he would be addressing some of this tonight. But when I got into bed, he said he was using one of the coupons I had given him for Christmas.
Now, I had made him a set of coupons for Christmas that entitled him to various things, but the one he was referring to was for oral gratification. Of course, that wasn't what I thought was going to happen, so I found myself protesting a bit. But he was firm, I had promised and he wanted it now.
So I slid down on the bed and began to slowly lick and wrap my mouth around his cock. He laid with his hands behind his head and said, "You can start anytime now," meaning that he wanted me to take it deep within my mouth and throat. I bobbed my head up and down, forcing myself to take it deeper and deeper. After awhile he put his hand on my head, pushing me down further, making me gag and held me there for a long moment before letting me up again. Again and again he would push my head down and I would use my mouth and throat to take as much as I could; and again he would hold me there until I was gagging, and then let me up and I would continue to stroke his cock with my hands as I whimpered and caught my breath. Then down I would go again. I don't know how long this went on for before he began to spank me. Over and over again, harder and harder while I sucked on his cock. He began to spank me very hard and I lay with my head in his lap, rubbing my lips up and down the length of his cock because he was spanking me so hard I was afraid to take it inside my mouth. At one point he ran his fingers up and down my slit and exclaimed, "You like it this hard don't you," and all I could do was raise my ass higher and moan my agreement as he continued to spank me hard. He stopped and grabbed my hair and forced his cock back in my mouth. I was happy to oblige, I couldn't get enough and he had to grab my hair and forcibly raise my head as I did not even hear him tell me to stop. "Get up here," he said and I gladly climbed astride him, feeling his cock slide deep within me, feeling how slick and wet I was as he entered me. He often likes to start with me on top because it gives him access to so many different places. He played with my nipples as I rode and I had my first orgasm right away. Then he spanked me more until I began to ride harder and he grabbed my breasts and began to suck on my nipples hard and I came again.
He must have known (or possibly saw when he read my post) how much I enjoyed when he did this last time, because once again he began to push and pull me, down towards his thighs and back to his hips. I would really love to give you a full accounting of this, but he was much more forceful this time and I came so many times I couldn't count. Completely limp and boneless I just let him pull and push me back and forth... at one point I must have been a bit (or maybe very?) loud because the dogs started barking, which at least brought me back to my senses a little. But it threw me off because I became aware of how I was naked, on top of him with all of my body (which I am self conscious of) on display. I became aware of his hands gripping my chubby hips and I became awkward and inhibited and tried to lean forward. He was having none of that, and began to spank me until I went back into the position he wanted and he began to slide me back and forth again.
Finally he let me down and I turned onto my stomach, with my chest on the bed and my ass propped up high and he entered me from behind. It felt so good, and I could feel him slapping against my ass over and over, which was sore from the spanking. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head up and then I could really feel him slamming into me over and over. Apparently all inhibitions were gone at this point because I heard myself begging him to come all over my ass (and I barely restrained myself from asking him to fuck me in the ass - I don't know where this was coming from, all I know is that my ass had become a major erogenous zone, all hot and sensitive from the spanking). He pulled out and I felt him shooting it all over my ass, it felt even hotter than my cheeks did and it was amazing. Afterwards he went and got a wash cloth and cleaned me off, each stoke of the cloth making me whimper as I felt it touch me. I laid on my side and managed to pull the sheet up and then just laid there trying to remember to breath and feeling the muscles in my thighs shaking. He asked me if I was okay, hmm yes, just not very coherent.
Instead of going right to sleep he laid there with me and we talked about where we went off track the other day. He would like me to handle things without having to be a task master, I would like him to hold me to his expectations and we decided that if I do everything right I will still get "good girl" spankings because they obviously do so much for me. But while he offered me that "carrot" he says that he will get firmer and if I do not do my end, there will be a "stick".
I do have a serious discipline spanking coming... I don't know when he will do it, he says he will do it when he decides the time is right, but I'm more than happy about the one I got last night. He did mention that it seemed like not spanking me was a punishment, but I explained to him that it did not work that way for me. It made me feel very lonely and unloved - I would rather have a "real" discipline spanking (which should actually hurt and then I would not want another one) where he really punishes me for when I went off track, so that I can feel forgiven and move forward from here. I know that he is afraid to hurt me, but I think after last night he is realizing that with a proper warm up, I can actually take it. I feel like the lines of communication are back up. I feel like we really reconnected in a big way.
I apologize if there are any typos and I will probably have to do some corrections later, but I have to take the car for an oil change and take my mother shopping. I really do not want to add on to the discipline I already have coming so I hope you will forgive me for this hasty post.