Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Behind The Scenes... An Interview With My Husband
When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline? "When my wife printed out information and brought it to me." You had never heard of it before? "No."
What was your initial reaction when your wife brought you the information? "I thought it sounded kinky, but I was all for it - I mean why not? I thought it would spice up the bedroom. Personally, I have no interest in being spanked or disciplined."
Did you think she was weird for bringing this to you? "No, but I figured it was more sexual than serious. I thought she must be sexually attracted to the idea - why else would a grown woman want to be spanked? I don't need to be spanked to be efficient so why would she? Now I think it is effective - I like it!"
So you never heard of this before, nothing about spanking or about BDSM? "Well, yeah I heard of the whole "spanking the school girl" role play, tying someone up - I never got the pain concept though. That was a bit too kinky for me. Like, you know, there were guys talking, looking at magazines when I was younger - and in the magazine there were pictures of women with clothespins on their nipples - and I was like who would want clothespins on their nipples? (Reporter blushes and clears her throat thinking of the nipple clamps that now have a place of pride in her "tools" drawer). I thought it was weird. Why would I want to hurt someone?"
So what do you think now that you've embraced Domestic Discipline and added a bit of BDSM to your marriage? "I like it! I like being in control, probably helps that I'm a bit of a control freak (so I've been told)," he adds with a smirk. "Actually, now that I know it's so effective ... if I could get everyone (referring to his job and employees) to do what needs to be done by spanking them, I would spank them all!" he jokes.
Now that you've embraced Domestic Discipline, what is the hardest part of being the HoH (Head of Household)? "I've always been the Head of Household, you (oops, I mean my wife), just didn't realize it. But the hardest part is always financial, trying to make sure that everyone is taken care of financially. Inflicting pain is hard too, I had a hard time wrapping my head around that. I had a hard time honestly seeing why my wife would want to be spanked. I was spanked as a child - it hurt - period. I wouldn't want that again - why would you? I love my wife, I don't want to hurt her. Now I see that it really does work, it fulfills her needs and keeps her on track. So now, I am all about the spanking - but only because I am all about my wife and keeping her fulfilled".
What is the best part of Domestic Discipline? "The sex! How responsive my wife gets." (Okay, he actually said how deliciously wet you get - but that is a story for another blog and also made this reporter blush and hide her face).
How do you feel about enforcing discipline? What do you find hard about it? "Initially it seemed like another chore or duty, but now...If the end result is a clean house, a sexually responsive wife? I am all for it. It is still hard for me to inflict pain on my wife and I worry that I might hit her too hard or leave a mark."
How do you think Domestic Discipline has affected your marriage? "Our sex life got better! Hands down - our sex life is the best part! The housework and errands, the running of our household is much better - stuff is getting done! - and we don't fight anymore. I actually like being in control."
Is there anything about Domestic Discipline that you don't like? "No...(He pauses and really thinks about this question)... No, there is nothing I don't like. Our marriage is much better now." Would you want to go back to Pre-Domestic Discipline? "No! No way! This is much better - I like it!"
What are your plans as you move forward as Head of Household? "More "Instruments of Destruction!"... More spankings... Ping Pong Paddles!... Anal sex... more toys... more "tools of the trade"... an earlier bedtime for the children - can we do that?" he leans forward and asks eagerly. (Reporter now giggling and blushing tells him to be serious). "I am serious," he laughs, "but probably to be more verbal and commanding." What about your plans for the household? "That hasn't changed," he said, "I have the same plans I've always had, my wife just hears me now - we're actually working together now. It is much easier to stay on track now though, now that just one of us is behind the wheel. We used to fight over who was driving, so we weren't getting anywhere. Now I am seeing more of my plans come into fruition - I can actually see us moving forward together. So no new plans, just implementing the ones I already had."
How has Domestic Discipline affected your sex life? "In a positive way - it's hotter, it's wetter, yummy and delicious, (again, this reporter had to hide her blushing face - he is eluding to something that I have yet to blog about...) there's more frequency. Now I know I don't need Viagra." Did you think you did? "No, not really, but I thought my sex drive was in trouble - now I know it wasn't the problem. We actually make and find the time for our sex life now, it's a priority. It helps that my wife is all dressed up for me, much sexier than sweats. The sex is much more innovative now, it's not routine."
Do you have any concerns about the Domestic Discipline lifestyle? "Well, I think the same as any parent, you don't want the kids to know what you are doing behind closed doors- and sometimes my wife can be a little loud, or the slapping noise... I wouldn't want the children to hear that and be all "what's going on in there?" I wouldn't want people to find out in general... people could see this in a negative light and label you as a "pervert" or a "freak." People love to judge. I don't want my private life to be made public, but I was like that even before Domestic Discipline. What goes on in your bedroom should be private, and I was never one to kiss and tell..."
Having said that, why then are you supportive of your wife having her blog? "Well, I am supportive of my wife writing, and if this gets her back into writing... I think writing is a skill that needs to be used or you forget how to do it. So I am very supportive of her writing and her blog, I just want to make sure that she writes under a nom de plume or anonymously. Again, people judge and our private life should be kept private." Does it bother you that she writes about intimate details of your relationship? "No, not so long as she isn't saying names and stuff - I wouldn't want someone to come up to me and be like, oh yeah, I heard you spanked your wife and gave her multiple orgasms last night... that would be embarrassing... and again, there are always people who would be judging your choices. But to share her experiences in an anonymous way, for her to enjoy writing again and maybe even help someone else by sharing what is working for us? I am okay with that..."
What do you think of BDSM and Domestic Discipline becoming more main stream with the wild popularity of 50 Shades of Grey? "Well, some of it is capitalism. I mean, if there is money to be made, someone is going to be making money. But I also can see where it is a good thing, after-all that is what led my wife to this and I love the way my marriage is now." Do you think it could become too main stream or effect society negatively? "I think it depends on who you are with. I mean for us, this is within the sanctity of marriage, it's not extreme, it's private. There are always people who take things to the extreme... and there are people who just won't find this enjoyable or arousing - everyone is different. People should do what works for them - everyone has different needs."
I interviewed you to get your perspective on Domestic Discipline. From your perspective, what advice would you have for other men, if their wives came to them and asked them to try Domestic Discipline? "Go for it! Try it! If she wants this you should be supportive, and what do you have to lose? You only live once, why not give it a shot? For us it is working out better than I ever thought it would. I still don't completely get my wife's need to be disciplined, but it is obviously very motivational and fulfilling for her. Just because I don't have that need - she does - and I want to be the man who fulfills her needs. By taking the time and energy to fulfill her needs, I am more than repaid by her reaction to my being assertive, taking charge and taking command. It may sound like more work initially, but once you embrace it, it is actually less work, less stress, a cleaner and happier home, a happy and fulfilled wife and MORE SEX! How can that be a bad thing? If she likes to be spanked, or she likes you to just take charge (you will be able to see from her reaction just how much she does like it) why would you NOT do it?"